Why, George, Why?

I have just ruined Star Wars for myself. And I blame you, George Lucas. The realization came to me this morning, and I wonder if anyone else has reached this point of disappointment and despair as I have.

So, at the end of Revenge of the Sith, as it is so cleverly named, Yoda takes Obi-Wan aside and speaks to him of the secret of immortality, an allusion to the force ghosts seen in the original trilogy. At the time I simply thought it a nifty, albeit unnecessary, tie-in to the real Star Wars. Unlike the whole midichlorian fiasco, it was an acceptable explanation that I foolishly embraced and let into my beliefs about their universe.
BUT, this morning it all fell apart when I thought back to that happy party with the Ewoks at the end of Return of the Jedi. There, amongst all the frivolous celebration, were three serene ghostly figures, Yoda, Obi-Wan, and of course Darth Vader. This also I felt was unnecessary, as we had already seen the redemption of "Anikin" in the arms of his son, in that bittersweet, lonely moment. But of course, American cinema being what it is, the point had to be driven home as much as possible, with the prodigal son returning and being all chummy with his old masters. Of course, before Revenge of the Sith I didn't think much of it; but now, it tears everything in half.
Accepting that the Force Ghost is a mysterious technique passed down sparingly through generations of Jedi, how the fuck did Darth Vader learn it? The ones who even knew of it were Luke, Obi-wan, Yoda, and (shudder) Qui-Gon. I doubt the Emperor ever learned it as he was never a Jedi in the first place, and sticking around to dole out wisdom to your successor doesn't seem like much of a Sith trick.
So where does this all leave me? Driven out of my fucking skull with hatred for George Lucas for tricking me into letting such a seemingly innocent bit of information into my head, like a charming vampire who I have welcomed into my home and is now mercilessly tearing my neck apart!

Pity Party

I am determined to pity myself. That's why I always declare myself beyond help or redemption, a tragic genius without the determination or the inspiration to put himself to use. It's why I'm constantly diagnosing myself with a plethora of ailments; that and my neverending quest for attention and acceptance. The irony is that in realizing this truth I have found the greatest reason to pity myself- so why am I not satisfied?

Craigslist: Part 2

Just when I thought things couldn't get weirder, I get this:

would you rape a guy for cash?

What about posting in "Men seeking Women" causes people to solicit me about gay sexual assault? I might have to consult an expert about this...

Craigslist is Awesome!

OK, even though I do my best to avoid writing on here (or at all), this was just too hilarious not to pass on.

So I posted a Man seeking Woman ad on Craigslist a couple hours ago because I was bored/so very lonely. After the usual onslaught of spam, I got this reply which is so bold that it can't not be real:

Let me know if you can't find that chick. I will give you a hand or a mouth ;P
Is that not the coolest thing ever??

Holy Balls!

How To Fold A T-Shirt In 2 Seconds - Explained

Call of Duty owns me

Or pwns me, if you prefer. It's true. I just can't sit at home for more than 10 minutes withought the thought entering my mind- Hey, go power up that magical box and bask in the glory of realistic modern combat fps greatness. Heck, the only reason I was able to come up here at all to write this entry is my controller died, and I didn't have any backup batteries on hand.

Guitar Hero had a great enough hold on me, what with the ever present possibility of improving my score and beating previous records for Freebird. I thought I couldn't get any more obsessed than that, when the only thing that kept me from it was the frequent build-up of pain in my fingers, my body's way of saying "What the fuck, man?! Cut it out already!"

But then I got Call of Duty 4, and my willpower went out the window. At first I was just enjoying the single-player campaign, where I knew eventually I would get tired of my hopeless attempts at beating Veteran level. But then I opened my very own Pandora's Box of gaming: xbox live multiplayer. I had played Halo online before, so I thought I knew what I was getting into. I quickly learned how wrong I was. If you don't know already, CoD4 has totally awesome gameplay and design, which would be enough on it's own, but the guys over at Infinity Ward apparently didn't want anybody to ever stop playing this game, because they added a feature to this game that is so addicting that there should be a warning from the Surgeon General on the box.

The rpg elements of CoD4 taps into my greatest weakness: leveling up. I don't care how bad it is or how many times I've played it; as long as I have nothing better to play, I will not stop obsessively leveling in whatever crappy game you throw at me. Normally a game with a character leveling system has a storyline and quests and sidequests that you eventually tire of and at some point it's just not worth raiding the goblin's cave again. But put those rpg elements into a dynamic multiplayer experience where nothing is scripted and each game is unique and I don't think I'll ever get tired of this.

Alas, my epic fail.

Things My Warped Mind is Convinced is Wrong With Me

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Assorted Phobias including but not limited to needles and people without eyebrows
Schizophrenia
Diabetes and various other illnesses that I know nothing about
Racism
Bipolar Disorder
Anxious Personality Disorder
Some sort of speech impediment
Self loathing/pity
Insomnia
ADD/ADHD
Cancer
Kleptomania
Pyromania
Not human... ness
Neuroticism
Hypochondria
Munchausen Syndrome